Thanks to very poor WiFi availability here in New Zealand, this post is
coming to you a little late seeing as we left Bangkok some nine days ago for
Auckland. It’s safe to say that the best way to start this post is to address
just how nightmarishly-hot Bangkok – and undoubtedly the rest of Thailand,
though we didn’t venture too far from the city. Okay, we drove a good four
hours out to an Elephant Day Care centre on the River Kwai but more on that in
the next post.
Firstly, our hotel, The Rembrandt, was of five-star quality. I’m not
sure what the actual rating is and I don’t plan on wasting precious WiFi
privileges Googling whether it is five stars or not, but it was also
dirt-cheap, as is pretty much everything else in Bangkok. And as is the case
with most rooftop views of any city, those from the hotel rooftop at night are
beautiful, but alarmingly there are only a handful of stars visible in an
otherwise clear night sky. Yes – the smog of Bangkok is very real. Even by day
a clear sky is hardly a bright blue but more of a sickly, pale blue.
Anyway, back to the heat... A staggering high-thirties temperature with
intense humidity and smog on top, Bangkok is quite simply a threat to my
existence. Even the locals seem to struggle. During an excruciatingly-hot tour
of the temples, our guide told us many Thai people are waiting eagerly for
winter (just some mid-twenties is all they ask) but have been for years. That,
and a lot of the young people frequent the local coffee shops and malls for
nothing more than the air-conditioning. The thought that even the Thai
themselves find the heat unbearable is suffocating in itself.
As for the streets
of Bangkok, as you can imagine, they’re pretty bonkers. For starters, it’s
moped mania, not to mention that the rules of the roads themselves are
terrifying. There’s a system in place, but to say it’s overlooked by many is an
understatement. People sit a little too freely on the back of moped-taxis,
while some parent-drivers have their children – mostly babies - sit on their
laps with no safety belts whilst on the motorways. There’s also an unwritten
“give way to the bravest” rule, which I found both amusing and scary. The
streets are lined with food, food and more food. But meat that has been sat in
such intense heat doesn't appeal to me in the slightest, nor does the thought
of having food poisoning in such an already-uncomfortable environment.
And while we were warned about scammers and thieves, luckily we only had
one brief encounter with a scammer – who we were already wise to - but then we
didn’t venture beyond the semi-comfort of our vicinity. Instead, we often took
sanctuary in either our hotel or the local mall, which just so happens to be
the size of a small country. I’ve mentioned The Emporium in one of my recent
movie reviews as it's home to the Emprive Cineplex we visited a couple of
times, but the leviathan complex quickly became our safe haven, impressively
boasting more food outlets and shops than you can possibly imagine. It even has
a mini rainforest! Yes, a rainforest. But more excitingly we also discovered an
"Uncle Tetsu's Cheesecake" outlet (a reason enough to return to
Toronto, Canada though I didn't think they existed elsewhere until now). But
sadly they don't accept credit card and we had no cash on us at the time...
So by day, the streets of Bangkok are just about manageable. But by
night, they become much more chaotic and seemingly more dangerous. But most of
all they become more disgusting - especially after a downpour. Filthy
finger-long cockroaches scurry across the roads while huge rats fight to
squeeze their fat bodies out of cracks in the pavements. Needless to say this
made my sweat-soaked skin crawl.
Then there’s the traffic: it’s simply insane. We were told that, on
average, people spend three hours a day commuting, with most getting up in the
very early hours of the morning – especially those with the food stalls - to
position themselves ready for the throngs of commuters starting their day.
Interestingly, most people also don’t have kitchens. They can make coffee or
fry eggs but that’s it. They buy food off the streets because it’s easy, fast,
cheap and convenient and suits their hectic lifestyles (the women are often
referred to as “plastic bag housewives” or words to that effect).
It’s an incredibly fast-paced way of life, and while the Thai's work
ethic and tolerance of the heat is admirable, it’s also unenviable. The
Thai people are mostly courteous, generous, accommodating and friendly (and it
seems custom that they ask if you’ve head breakfast – mainly the tour guides!)
yet they endure in the most unbearable heat. So what’s our excuse for being so
miserable and grumpy all the time? Take note, Britain!
All in all, it was a good week and a nice pre-break before our now
twenty-three day tour of New Zealand. But the truth is, with such vicious heat,
you can only enjoy yourself so much. Not-so-regrettably, I didn’t scout out any
famous movie locations in the Thai capital. On the other hand, using my blog as
a travel journal as well as for movie reviews and movie locations makes sense,
so there'll be more than plenty of variety coming up over the next ten or so
weeks. After all, adventure is the closest thing to fantasy or fiction...
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