Flash Reviews: The Disaster Artist, Molly's Game, Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle & The Greatest Showman

I’ve been a little behind with posting some of my film reviews lately, but you can blame Christmas and Disneyland Paris for that. Speaking of which, I’ll be posting on that magical experience in the next few days too. For now, check out some flash reviews from December, which takes us right up until the last film I saw in 2017, The Greatest Showman. And don’t forget to check out my podcasts too, where I’ve already reviewed all of the following.

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi Review

In hindsight, it makes more sense than not that Abrams' The Force Awakens was a play-it-safe carbon copy of A New Hope, especially given that it was the first entry since 2005’s Revenge of the Sith, the last of the despised prequel trilogy. But there’s no denying that, despite its many strengths, it was a film weighed down by the past. Even in its controversial disposal of Harrison Ford's much-loved nerf herder, it was something of a Han Solo-centric film, though its decision to cast him into the ether in the first place spoke volumes about Disney's plans to start wiping the slate clean.

There Was Something Strange In Manchester's Bowlers Exhibition Centre... And It Looked Pretty Good!

On the first weekend of December, with my wife, Sian, and two friends, Anthony and Ben, I attended the For the Love of Sci-Fi Comic Con at the Bowler’s Exhibition Centre in Manchester. It’s been a pretty busy year for me, with my wedding in February, followed by a three-month trip (aka “greedy honeymoon”) around the world, but it might surprise you to learn that my weekend in Manchester is quite easily one of the most memorable of the year. I have to be careful when saying such things, though, but if you’re reading this, Sian, just remember - we got married on a Friday!

For the Love of Sci-Fi Preview: There's Something Strange in Manchester...

Here's a small collection of pictures from the For the Love of Sci-Fi Comic Con I recently attended in Manchester with Sian and my two equally-geeky friends, Anthony and Ben. I'll be writing up a full blog post, so check this space again tomorrow to find out more about who we met and what else we got up to!

Justice League - DC's Most Unwanted Criminal

The DCEU hasn't all been doom and gloom. I’ll defend Man of Steel as much as Superman would defend Earth. Wonder Woman was also a welcome delight, and to quote myself, was certainly the hero the franchise didn’t deserve. Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad (call me two-faced but I didn't hate the latter so much at the time), however, remain the real villains of the series, and whose incoherent and laughable plots played out like riddles or jokes. But now, Justice League commits more crimes than you’d see in Downtown Gotham on a Saturday night. I may not be the greatest detective in the world, but these atrocities are more obvious than a psychopath in clown make-up. 

Paddington 2 Review

Ever since Michael Bond’s first book, A Bear Called Paddington, published in 1958, the Peruvian bear has appeared in over one hundred and fifty books and a number of his own television programmes, from stop motion animation to two-dimensional. He even has his own shop in Paddington Station, as well as his own statue on Platform One. Now, he’s already into his second film on the silver-screen. But thankfully, it’s not in vain.

Jigsaw

Like this franchise mindlessly does away with its characters, I’ll do away with the plot or any discussion around the horror genre. So let’s cut to the case. Following a seven-year hiatus, Jigsaw has returned. While the trailer begs you to ask “how”, given that the most sadistic, self-righteous and delusional killer to have disgraced the silver screen was blatantly killed (and there’s nothing that spells blatant death like this franchise) in an earlier sequel, the question on everyone’s minds is an exasperated “why”.

A Bad Moms Christmas

When the comedy-Christmas movie isn’t a series of outlandish and non-relatable events (you all know who you are) usually fuelled by booze or bad writing or both, it can be a wonderful and heart-warming thing. It’s a bit like eggnog; you have to get the mixture just right, or it will leave a bad taste in your mouth from the offset. That, or it will just be bland and forgetful. Classics like the Home Alone movies (remind yourself that there are only two…) and Love Actually remain a lot to live up to, but that said, each to their own. After all, there are those who love Christmas Pudding, and there are those who do not. In fact, the same can be said about Christmas itself.

Murder on the Orient Express

Based on the classic Agatha Christie novel of the same name, and following along the tracks of numerous televised adaptations, Murder on the Orient Express (2017) sees Belgian detective, Hercule Poirot, arrive in the form of an impressive-moustache-wielding Kenneth Brannagh, who also directs. After boarding the legendary train for a break from his work, Poirot meets a colourful assortment of characters (equally-colourful is the train-hoggingly-enormous cast that plays them). But when an avalanche stops the train its tracks, the passengers wake to find that one among them has been murdered in their cabin. With “probably the greatest detective in the world” on board, so begins an investigation.

Geostorm

In the near future, the earth’s weather has reached such catastrophic levels that the leaders of the world create a hi-tech, multi-satellite-strong orbital network to control the weather and prevent disaster. Three years on, random catastrophes from subzero tidal waves in Dubai to lethal post-sundown solar rays in China begin to occur. Chief Architect Jake Lawson (Butler – who else?), the original designer behind the system known as “Dutchboy”, is summoned back to the International Space Station to find out what or who is sabotaging the system, and prevent a “Geostorm” – a global meteorological event that will wipe out mankind.

Thor: Ragnarok

After defeating Surtur, a giant god-like creature hellbent on destroying Thor’s homeworld, Asgard, the God of Thunder tracks down his father, King Odin (Sir Anthony Hopkins), with the help of the portal-wielding Doctor Strange (Benedict Cumberpatch). But when Odin suddenly dies, his secret firstborn daughter, Hela (Cate Blanchett), appears to assume power of the throne. Once she destroys Thor’s hammer, Mjolinir, she swiftly seizes Asgard. In trying to fight Hela, Thor and his brother, Loki (Tom Hiddleston), the God of Mischief, wind up on the distant garbage planet of Sakaar, where they meet allies old and new, including The Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo).

Happy Death Day

When Tree Gelbman (Jessica Rothe) wakes in a stranger’s dorm, she hastily departs and sets off about her day like she would any other, save for her walk of shame across the bustling campus. That, and when she arrives at her sorority house, her roommate presents her with a birthday cupcake. But Tree doesn’t care much for carbs, or even kind gestures for that matter. When night falls, she’s stalked by someone who’s dressed as the college’s creepy baby-faced mascot. Before she’s able to get away, she’s stabbed to death. Not a moment later, she wakes in the same stranger’s dorm, recognising everything thereafter from the busy campus to the cupcake. And when night falls, the same maniac shows up and kills her all over again.

The Ritual Review

Following the death of their friend Robert in a violent burglary, a group of friends continue with their plans to go for a lads’ weekend hiking through the Swedish Mountains to honour his memory. Among them, Luke (an as usual-convincing Rafe Spall) shoulders the guilt of Robert's death and is paranoid that the others blame him. But when they suffer an injury, they exchange their mountainous trek for an apparently shorter one through the shadowy forests in the valley, where group dynamics become the least of their worries. A malevolent presence soon makes itself known, and one-by-one, as is the case in this neck of the woods within the bleak horror-verse, the friends are hunted and mutilated.

Blade Runner 2049 Review

Set 30 years after the original, Ryan Gosling’s Officer Kay – a blade runner - unearths a secret that, if exposed, will change the world and put replicants ahead of humans as the dominant species, so his only hope is to locate ex-blade runner Office Deckard (Harrison Ford) before it’s too late.

My All-Time Favourite Spine-Tinglers (Part 2)...

The unofficial “Halloween weekend” might be almost over, but the scariest night of the year is still yet to come. So as promised, here’s the list that completes my top ten scariest horror films of all time. After reading, you might want to stay well away from caves, forests, trick or treaters in general, and probably your own house. Might just be best to stay under the covers and not move until Wednesday then…

My All-Time Favourite Spine-Tinglers (Part I)...

What are your favourite scary movies? Maybe it’s those ones about deranged, masked serial killers, or maybe it’s those about the less-visible terrors, like the featureless shapes that lurk in the dark, or the ones you hear but never see. In short, the answer is that different things scare different people. 

The Mountain Between Us

Two strangers meet at an airport when they learn that their mutual flight has been cancelled. With Alex (Winslet) due to marry the next day, and Ben (Elba), a neurosurgeon, due to operate at the same time, they decide to hire out a private plane to get them home in time. But when the pilot experiences a stroke mid-flight, their plane crashes into the mountains, killing the pilot and leaving both Alex and Ben injured and alone on the snowy peaks, with nothing but each other – and the pilot’s nameless dog - to survive the elements.  

The Lego Ninjago Movie

The Lego franchise has exploded in recent years much like an angry kid putting his foot through the Ghostbusters Fire Station after finding that a single brick is missing. The evidence is everywhere, from countless video games including the hugely-popular Lego Dimensions to the very reason behind this review.

Flash Reviews: Kingsman - The Golden Circle, American Assassin & Flatliners

Here are my latest flash film reviews which you may have also heard on Swindon 105.5 last week, having been asked to become their weekly film critic! Don’t worry if you missed it as I’ll keep you updated with upcoming slots through the Curious Rookie Facebook page, and will even share with you the audio files when and where possible – but only if you’re curious…

mother!

Jenifer Lawrence plays the loving wife to Javier Bardem’s older poet who’s suffering from writer’s block. While Lawrence works hard at turning their very remote home into an idyllic setting, or a “paradise” if you will, a mysterious stranger (Ed Harris) turns up at their door, followed closely by his wife (Michelle Pfeiffer), both of whom Bardem’s seemingly-oblivious character welcomes with open arms - despite his wife’s understandable protests. But as more guests inexplicably begin to swarm Lawrence’s home, the film descends into brutal and unforgiving chaos that is as arresting as it is repellent.